The Fourth Thing

Biologists tell us that all animals have three primal drives. Food, shelter, and reproduction. Being animals, this is what we are driven to do. Find food. Find shelter. Reproduce.

I believe that there's something more, a fourth drive, that makes us uniquely human. Curiosity. Along with food, shelter, and family, we seek a fourth thing. Knowledge. Turtles don't ponder the meaning of existence. Cows don't look up at night and wonder what stars are. People do. But, as Thomas Edison once said, "We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything."


He was right. We know next to nothing. We don't know what life is. Or love. Or consciousness. Or electricity. Or gravity. Or even light. We barely understand what's in our own backyards, and there's so much more out there. Think about this. In the very small town where I live, the library has 74,144 books. Just books in print, mind you, I'm not counting books on tape, CDs, or anything else they have. Just books. 74,144. If you read one book a day, for one hundred years, you won't have even reached the halfway point. The entire world, even the smallest parts of it, is filled with things you don't know. Even the things we think we know, we are often wrong. Everything we know about history, we've learned in the past 200 years. Compared with the billions of years our planet has been around, we've barely existed. And for most of that time, we were mute and illiterate.


Now, we have language. We have culture. We have civilization. And where has it gotten us? Nowhere. We've already started to forget. To stain English with slang. To turn art into offensive doodles. To degrade music to the point of grunting and heavy beats.

I was told once by a friend of mine that we have no purpose on Earth but to learn. I disagreed, but I understand, for isn't that what we do? Learn from everything. Hold to that thirst for knowledge! There is so much more to learn, see, and do! Knowledge is never perfect. It always entails the possibility of mistake. Risk it. It's part of being human. Knowledge is in our destinies.

This is Ourselves

"It's the terror of knowing what this world is about, watching some good friends scream, 'Let me out!' "-Under Pressure ( Queen and David Bowie)

Everyday, we're put under an enormous amount of pressure. Judgments, expectations, limits, responsibilities, luck. For me, it's judgments. Why is it that society expects girls to have long hair? Yes, scientifically speaking, it's more attractive, (see Evolution of Attraction) but what law binds us to be attractive?

My new haircut is shorter then I've ever had it, barely covering my ears. My neck is shorn and the curls press close to my head. It roughly resembles a flapper from the 1920s. Vintage meets modern. It's perfectly me, but it's also terribly out of style. In today's world, short hair is childish, and with my old fashioned curls, I just can't wear it long. I'm forever "cute". I'm always going to look younger. I'll never fit society's definition of "beautiful".

For others, it's pressure in a different way. A close friend of mine just broke up with his girlfriend of two years. Pressure. Guilt, responsibilities, and heartbreak. My comfort is in vain. No matter how many times I tell him it simply wasn't meant or that it wasn't his fault, he doesn't listen. Quoting "Under Pressure" again... "Love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night and love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves. "

Pressure or not, he refuses to let me help. He's convinced that I don't understand. I want to roll up my sleeves and show him my own scars, figuratively, of course, but I cannot. And so comes back the curse of age. Yes, I'm younger, but I'm far from naive and immature. Just this once, I wish I was older and he was younger, and I could comfort him.

"This is our last dance. This is ourselves, under pressure."

Genesis

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” -JP Morgan

Genesis. Noun. An origin, creation, or beginning.
With summer, I welcome in a new beginning. Finally, I return to endless rehearsals and memorization, backstage jokes, and late nights with sheet music and tea. Nothing has changed. Nothing but me. There are obvious changes, I've gained nearly an octave in range. I've also shed my image as the youngest, and hope to get a leading role. My biggest change is only mentally. This year has contained so much, from heartbreak, to death. New friendships and changing paths. And of course, new romance.

His name is Connor, and I truly believe the sun revolves solely around him. He might just be perfect. I've had a crush on him for months. Now that we're dating, every text makes me smile. I long for his next call, just to hear his voice again. Am I obsessed? Nope, just lost in a mix of excitement and ecstasy. For romance is just that. Full of excitement and happiness. Daring and bold.

So I welcome this new beginning. I welcome Les Miserables. I welcome rehearsals and over packed schedules. I welcome love. It's time to start. Good luck. Get ready. Get set. Go.

Evolution of Attraction

“No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly.” -Oscar Wilde

With Class Night, a graduation party, just around the corner, girls are continuously raising the bar. Manicures, pedicures, hairstyles, hair dye, shaving, plucking, the whole nine yards. What is it that drives us to fight for the perfect Barbie body? Everyday, we're surrounded by the images of “perfect bodies” displayed by the media, but strangely, that's not it. No, even in 15th- and 16th- century Italy, women were dying their hair blond. Studies have shown that even in Iran, where the voice of the media is limited, women are actually more concerned with their body image and want to lose more weight then women in America. Incredibly enough, there's logic behind the blond bombshell.

Age- This one's easy. Men tend to be attracted to younger women because younger women are usually healthier.
Hair- Once again, it's about health and youth. Blonde hair indicates youth. Shiny and lustrous hair indicates health, and therefore, longer hair indicates many years of health.
Waist- Women with a low waist-to-hip ratio are more fertile than other women. They have an easier time conceiving a child and do so at earlier ages because they have larger amounts of reproductive hormones.
Breasts- Until recently, "bigger is better" didn't make any sense, seeing as size doesnt interfere with a womans ablility to lactate, but anthropologist Frank Marlowe suggests that because of larger breasts sagging with age, it's easier to judge age with large breasts.
Eyes- The pupil dilates when exposed to something the person likes. The size of the pupil is easiest to determine in blue eyes. Therefore, Blue-eyed people are considered attractive because it is easiest to determine whether they are interested or not.

Personally? It's evolution, and in today's world of hairdye, lipsuction, breast implants, and color contacts, none of it is true any longer. Beauty exists in all forms. And altough the media may not have started these trends, it certainly encourages them.

• 42% of 6-8 year old girls want to be thinner.
• 81% of kids 10 years old are afraid of being fat.
• 51% of girls 9-10 feel better when they are on diets.

The world has gone mad. Tomorrow night, I'm going as myself. No dye, no plastic, no faking it. I only hope that others can be brave enough to do the same.

The Bitterest Tears

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.
-Richard Bach

Harriet Beecher Stowe, a great American author, once said that the bitterest tears shed over graves are those for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. I'm not sure I agree. I think the bitterest tears are those shed for lost time. For those who leave too soon, when we only want one more day. Just one more laugh together. One more hug. One last goodbye.

Why is it that we are drawn to death? My best friend's father, who might as well have been part of my family, passed away, and his funeral was today. We are drawn to death the same reason we are drawn to birth. It is because deep down, the human spirit knows that Death and Birth are part of the same whole. Everything intersects. Every story overlaps.

The oldest daughter spoke first. She started almost jokingly, recalling her happy childhood. She addressed the rest of the family, her mother, siblings, and her young son. She described how much he had loved them all. Suddenly she fell against the podium crying, "Daddy! Daddy I love you!"

I lost it, and tears poured from my face, my already soaking tissue providing no help. My friend next to me slipped her hand into mine, and I squeezed it and bit my lip, afraid to let go. I was astonished by the raw emotion in the room. Puffy eyes from crying, clinging to each other, and breaking sad smiles when funny memories were recalled. I learned something as well. No matter how heavy two hearts are with sorrow, together, the sadness is lessened.

I will always remember him. He was a boisterous, happy person, who thoroughly enjoyed life. I remember his laughter, and his joking sing-song voice when coaxing a smile from his children. I will remember his encouragement, the first person not to criticize my loud voice, but to compliment it. I will remember love. May he forever rest in peace.

Poetry

“With me, poetry has not been a purpose, but a passion.- Edgar Allen Poe

Today, I was asked what a poem is. I began to reply, "Why, that's easy! A poem is..." I found I couldn't finish my sentence. A poem. What is it? Its technical definition gives it no justice. "A piece of literature written in meter; verse." It's so much more. It's passion on paper, captured music, a prayer, a wish.
I have come to define poetry as purified language. Each word is carefully selected to have perfect rhythm, rhyme, alliteration, and purpose. The English language has hundreds of thousands of words, yet an average educated person only knows about 20,000 words and uses only about 2,000 words in a week. So much expression is left untouched. In Shakespeare's work, the longest word he used was "honorificabilitudinitatibus", which is defined as "the state of being able to achieve honours". I often feel that we are evolving backwards, resorting to primordial grunts.
Poetry touches the harmony inside all of us, and captures beautiful slivers of language and thought. It is the hole in ignorance, allowing knowledge and beauty to flow freely. In today's world, there are few people who can recite famous poetry. Read! Expand! Truly, what did the Robert Frost's woods represent? What did Edgar Allen Poe's raven mean? Secrets remain locked in the beauty of forgotten words! I leave you with one of my favorite poems, written by Langston Hughes.

Dreams
Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams,
For when dreams go,
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Back from Neverland...

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come...The thing is, we didn't have to have each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up." -The Wonder Years

Definitions of aging differ between biologists and behavioral scientists. For me? Aging is only change, and not always pleasant. Last night I ran into a friend whom I haven't seen in months. He seemed happy enough to see me, but he carried a new maturity I hadn't seen before. From his posture to the way he talked, he seemed older and more reserved. And very much above talking to me.

Perhaps my age is my burden. Although he's only older by a small amount, it's clear that I'm viewed as younger, and no matter what happens, he doesn't put me on the same level as he does himself. Maybe the time has come for me to grow up as well. To shed the remains of my childhood. But maybe not, for you see, when we grow up, we simply reach our own state of maturity. Being mature is simply full development of our judgment. It is, in fact, possible to do this and still hang on to childhood. It breaks my heart to see those who grow up too fast. I've watched young children, barely ten years old, sending texts on their cell phones, "dating", playing spin-the-bottle, swearing, and trying to hide all the fear of growing up they hold inside. What happened to building tree houses? To playing outside or holding lemonade stands? To teddy bears and games of fantastic imagination?

I ask all of you to hold onto your childhood. Hold onto your dignity. There's still so much time left, don't throw it away. Believe in fairy tales. Wish on stars. You'll know when your time comes. And please, never forget about your friends. Age creates no burden to love and friendship. Hold on to all this, and you will never be alone.

Keepin' it Sharp

“Passion is the element in which we live; without it, we hardly vegetate." -Lord Byron (English Romantic poet and satirist)

Passion is a powerful emotion, marking bountiful enthusiasm, and makes up the world we live in. Without passion, there is nothing. There is no color. There is no music. There is no life. Today, I was lucky enough to see passion in action. The singing group "The B-Sharps" put on a concert in Canton today, artfully titled "Keepin' it Sharp". I could go into detail about it, but to keep it short, I say simply, it moved me to tears. As a musician,I've attended countless recitals and concerts, but never have I seen such love, such enthusiasm, such talent as I did today. The singers truly loved being there, and their talent was astonishing. I believe that art is our purpose here on Earth. It's simply rare to find it displayed with such passion. When we hear music like this, or see breathtaking paintings, or great acting, we find another place on earth. We find our purpose, our being, our shared soul. Perhaps their director said it best. "Go on out there and enjoy it. Do what you love." Never be afraid to do what you love. It is through doing what we love that we find our places in the world. So follow your heart, and find your passion, and as for those who mind? They do not matter. And those who truly matter? They do not mind.

Come to the River

"And he showed me a pure River of Water of Life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the Throne of God and of the Lamb." Revelation 22:1


Today we visited the Farmington River as part of our ecology unit. In our daily life, we often forget the beauty of the everyday. Standing there on the bank was enlightening. The silver spay caress the rocks, the perfect crystal mirror and my heart quivering with the melody of peace. Perhaps the purpose of the life lies in the moments of every day. Heaven can be found on earth, in those perfect moments.
However, with every bit of beauty there lies an ugly underside. Here are the facts.

• 40% of America's rivers are too polluted for fishing, swimming, or aquatic life.
• 46% of America's lakes are too polluted for fishing, swimming, or aquatic life.
• 1.2 trillion gallons of untreated sewage, storm water, and industrial waste are discharged into US waters annually.
• Each year, plastic waste in water and coastal areas kills up to 100,000 marine mammals, 1 million sea birds, and countless fish.
• One billion people across the globe still lack safe drinking water

Why do we allow this? Why do we not stop it? This is our problem, because this is our now and this is our future. Don't convince yourself this doesn't matter. Look around. It might not matter today, or even tomorrow, but I know in the future, that I want to be able to take my daughter outside, to show to her the clear blue sky, to let her swim in the ocean, to let her play in the trees. I want her to know the African elephant, the blue whale, the gorilla, even the panda, and not because they've become extinct, but because she will have been able to see them. I want the same for my grandchildren, and for many generations to come.
Success is knowing that at least one life has breathed easier because you lived. So I encourage you, succeed! Baby steps are all we need. Save energy, use www.blackle.com instead of google. Check labels on hairspray and similar products. Conserve water. Try walking or biking. Try eating one meatless meal a week. Borrow, don't buy. And please, recycle. Then, will you succeed? That and much more. You'll help not only one of us, but all of us.
"Come to the water, the water will flow. Stand to the night, see the light, let it grow. Hold on, for hard winds are starting to blow –Stand up!Hold on! And swear you won't let go... "-Coming Together ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A200Yovf7g8)

Revival

"When you die, you lose a very important part of your life." -Brooke Shields


I realize that I've seemingly killed this blog. It lies motionless, with no views, and no posts. However, life takes crazy turns. We fall, and we rise again. So I bring back Organized Chaos with a more personal flair. Welcome back.