The Bitterest Tears

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.
-Richard Bach

Harriet Beecher Stowe, a great American author, once said that the bitterest tears shed over graves are those for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. I'm not sure I agree. I think the bitterest tears are those shed for lost time. For those who leave too soon, when we only want one more day. Just one more laugh together. One more hug. One last goodbye.

Why is it that we are drawn to death? My best friend's father, who might as well have been part of my family, passed away, and his funeral was today. We are drawn to death the same reason we are drawn to birth. It is because deep down, the human spirit knows that Death and Birth are part of the same whole. Everything intersects. Every story overlaps.

The oldest daughter spoke first. She started almost jokingly, recalling her happy childhood. She addressed the rest of the family, her mother, siblings, and her young son. She described how much he had loved them all. Suddenly she fell against the podium crying, "Daddy! Daddy I love you!"

I lost it, and tears poured from my face, my already soaking tissue providing no help. My friend next to me slipped her hand into mine, and I squeezed it and bit my lip, afraid to let go. I was astonished by the raw emotion in the room. Puffy eyes from crying, clinging to each other, and breaking sad smiles when funny memories were recalled. I learned something as well. No matter how heavy two hearts are with sorrow, together, the sadness is lessened.

I will always remember him. He was a boisterous, happy person, who thoroughly enjoyed life. I remember his laughter, and his joking sing-song voice when coaxing a smile from his children. I will remember his encouragement, the first person not to criticize my loud voice, but to compliment it. I will remember love. May he forever rest in peace.