This is Ourselves

"It's the terror of knowing what this world is about, watching some good friends scream, 'Let me out!' "-Under Pressure ( Queen and David Bowie)

Everyday, we're put under an enormous amount of pressure. Judgments, expectations, limits, responsibilities, luck. For me, it's judgments. Why is it that society expects girls to have long hair? Yes, scientifically speaking, it's more attractive, (see Evolution of Attraction) but what law binds us to be attractive?

My new haircut is shorter then I've ever had it, barely covering my ears. My neck is shorn and the curls press close to my head. It roughly resembles a flapper from the 1920s. Vintage meets modern. It's perfectly me, but it's also terribly out of style. In today's world, short hair is childish, and with my old fashioned curls, I just can't wear it long. I'm forever "cute". I'm always going to look younger. I'll never fit society's definition of "beautiful".

For others, it's pressure in a different way. A close friend of mine just broke up with his girlfriend of two years. Pressure. Guilt, responsibilities, and heartbreak. My comfort is in vain. No matter how many times I tell him it simply wasn't meant or that it wasn't his fault, he doesn't listen. Quoting "Under Pressure" again... "Love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night and love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves. "

Pressure or not, he refuses to let me help. He's convinced that I don't understand. I want to roll up my sleeves and show him my own scars, figuratively, of course, but I cannot. And so comes back the curse of age. Yes, I'm younger, but I'm far from naive and immature. Just this once, I wish I was older and he was younger, and I could comfort him.

"This is our last dance. This is ourselves, under pressure."