A World on Fire

Outside the window, the sky is white.
The sky is perfect.
A perfect white, washed out by clouds, flawless and pure.
It forms the perfect background against the trees. Emerald green, they blend together, like slender fingers reaching from the ground. There is one different. On the far right, it screams with color, flaming red and orange. Fire. In time, the others will catch its flame, burning as brightly as it does now. Frozen in time, it's on the edge. One flame. A row of green. Waiting for the world to burst into flames.

I met with the high school counselor for the first time today. My stomach dropped, and I hesitated outside her door. Yet again I swallowed down countless words, things I could never share. I paste on a smile and rehearse answers in my head. Things to make her nod her head, to make her not worry, to keep up the facade of the happy student.

A perfect white, washed out by clouds, flawless and pure.

We began talking about basics. Simple things, grades, schoolwork. She asked me what I wanted to do after high school. I froze. The look on her face stunned me. She understood. She saw right through me. There was something different about her, and she challenged me to test her. To tell the truth. So I did. I choked out "musical theater". Her face hardened, out of habit, perhaps. After all, its so ambitious, so untouchable, and her job is to set realistic goals. Suddenly, the hardness melted. She looked curious, and nodded at me to continue.

It screams with color, flaming red and orange.

A dam broke then, and I sputtered out something about the high unemployment rates of actors and actresses. Her expression was unchanged, and I swelled slightly. "I can do it. I know I can. I'll be the one that makes it. I'll work hard at it, I swear. I belong onstage, I know it..." I trail off, ashamed, and wait for her to stop me. But she doesn't. "You will." Two words. That's it.

Frozen in time, it's on the edge.

I look up at her, and this time, it’s my face that asks to continue. “You will,” she repeats, “You speak with such passion, and you’re poised and well spoken. You’re going to succeed. I can tell.” I can tell that she’s confused by this, she’s making a promise that’s easily broken, but the doubt is soon gone. She is sure. And suddenly, so am I. I will. I wait now for my opening night, for the flames and excitement that will decide my future. I can sense something big approaching.

Waiting for the world to burst into flames.