Spare

Dear Reader,
Do you ever get that funny feeling? Where you're just so upset you're biting back tears? But it's almost like you're about to throw up? Or like you're starving? Or like you just want to sob or eat or throw up or something? And your tummy just feels all jumbled? But you just shove it all down and pretend it's not there at all? That's how I feel.
Do you ever feel like you're just a spare? Like, a spare tire? Shoved in the trunk? And you wish, oh how you wish you could ride shotgun, or at least, in a seat, like a normal person. Like somebody who's going somewhere, somebody who others want to be there. Not the extra, forgotten, last-minute-shoved-in-the-trunk.
Or maybe, the problem with being shoved in the trunk, is knowing that you're a last chance, last resort kinda thing? And nobody actually wants to talk to you? They'll just humour you for as long as you pester? Nobody actually wants to have a real conversation and listen, because nobody really remembers you're there at all?
Yeah. That's how I feel, too.