To be Smart

It feels empty. Hollow. It hurts.
It hurts to lose. It hurts to say goodbye.
Why do we grow attached to people?
The only logical thing to do is withdraw.
To shy away. To reject friendships. To ignore people.
Because with nothing to lose, there's no way to get hurt.

Silently, we drive through the night. I chew on my lip, fighting back tears. I know that as soon as we reach my house, he'll leave. He'll go far, far away. Grown up. Real life. I don't quite know how to say goodbye. I'm not quite sure how I'll get by without him. He's been my hero, my role model, my brother. Given me the best and the worst advice I've ever had. Taught me more than anyone ever has. And he's leaving. But for now, it's just us.
He sighs, and still looking at the road, he warns, "You'd better not do anything stupid this year."
I laugh despite myself, "Define stupid."
He takes a second to glare at me. But he loves me. I know.

Suddenly, I realize something. Avoiding people, withdrawing. It's just about the stupidest thing I can do. We're drawn to others, we need others. I'm not sure who I'd be if I'd never met anyone I've had to say goodbye to. I wouldn't be anybody at all. We're not defined by the people around us, but we're changed by the company we keep, the things they teach us.

A few days later, I find him online, and I smile to myself. He'll never be completely gone. He'll always be there when I need him, he always has been. It hurts to say goodbye. But to have people you love in your life? It's worth it.